Ms. Marple’s Math

Nobody is talking about Yermak.

I caught #WeirdBugs talking about President Zelenskyy’s former chief of staff, Andriy Yermak. This is a little different than the usual Ms. Marple rant, and the bold text is a new, as yet unnamed character. He’s just as funny as Marple, once he gets rolling, I’ve just been remiss in capturing the good stuff.

Anyway, the scandalysis is as follows …

#WeirdBugs:

Look at Diddy, Drake, Trump, Cuomo, Musk - by now, someone would have gotten cocky or had a few too many and come through with Receipts

Instead? Just the usual “he shady bruv, trust me” and not a single leak or gloating interview

Or *verifiable* piece of news

By now someone would have come though with a story about how Yermak had his brother smoked or threatened to make him sleep with the fishes or kicked his puppy or was a lousy Grindr lay

Especially in EE (Eastern Europe). Someone would have snitched *something*, leaked screenshots, a phone call, medical records, whatever

Especially especially if he was really as loathed as everyone said

The dogs aren’t barking.

And nobody in Bankova is talking. Either Zelenskyy brought the hammer down, Yermak is such a terrifying son of a bitch they don’t dare, orrrrrr there’s some shenanigans afoot

And if Yermak is playing bait for bigger fish...

What if the story was embarrassing for the trump regime somehow? Photos of Yermak snorting coke off DJTJ’s cock or something

... Ew. But even then, the people who REALLY FUCKING HATE HIM would have made Comments And Insinuations

After all it’s pretty much an open secret that Yermak is, ah, of the Dorothean persuasion

Or corruption, business deals with the Kushners, something that would embarrass the country or rob them of any moral high ground… what would incentivize those haters to keep quiet

Arestovych pretty much outed him and did not give a shit even while he was still employed and could technically be fired by him

Again - “corruption”, if say Poroshenko got hold of anything THAT spicy it’d be all over the papers by now

All i can think is that it involves the immediate threat of death for anyone to come forward with info

And everyone in the opposition party or who just dislikes Zelenskyy or Yermak would be having a field day

Either Yermak is *that much* of a bad motherfucker (then there wouldn’t have been a midnight raid and a resignation), or there’s shenanigans afoot and bigger fish to fry

“There’s a certain fish which pretends to lie dead on the ocean floor. It’s enemies approach. Yet it lies still. Its enemies take small bites, yet, it remains still.” “So we remain still”.

If say this was an attempt by Trump and NABU to separate iron fist Yermak from velvet glove Zelenskyy

The third option, if we go by that one guy who was very quiet afterwards, is that Yermak’s health imploded from the stress

Which would track with the Zelenskyys having him over every afternoon (I’ll laugh if Olena Zelenska threatens to microwave his phone if he uses it past 8 pm)

Which, again, would be Bad. He was the Bigwig to Zelenskyy’s Hazel, the scary bully who did the ugly shit so his boss could do his job

And it’s been a month, by now *someone* would have leaked charges, documents, a pissed off enemy would have gone public with that time Yermak threw a coffee mug at his head, a disappointed Grindr date would have outed him as a two pump chump. But *nothing* nothing? In such an explosive case? In *Eastern Europe*?

Nuh uh. The dogs aren’t barking. Something’s up.

Coda:

Ms. Marple just kinda happens, I tell her about it after the fact when I’m editing. Today’s response to this was primo.

.. If Yermak has me carbombed for talking shit I’ll haunt you 👻👻👻👻

And then she got the draft to review …

Welp it is what it is, if the SBU does a quick Google and Yermak gets a present of a stuffed bunny, we’ll know they read here lol

(hi Mr Yermak. I’m harmless. please don’t tell Mr Budanov to carbomb me.)