Ms. Marple: Tariff Report
Batten down the hatches, we're about to Find Out
Ms. Marple, a commonplacing influencer, and I inhabit a chat room called #WeirdBugs, and one of the things that is discussed is the Hobonichi subreddit. I was surprised to learn that there are girls (read: pre-laugh line females) who will spend a three digit number for a fancy daily planner.
Having learned of this, I’ve come to think it’s actually pretty cool. Hobonichi planners are … they get similar treatment to purses. Gotta have a couple to mix and match, they get personalized. And there’s a lot of personal ritual use, like redditor stainsonmybrain’s daily doodles. This is sort of … there’s a lot of kinetic post-Instagram activity.
And now that the tariffs have well and truly arrived, things are about to get … unplanned.
A lot of stay at home moms with a side hustle are about to be reaaaaally fucked. Just as Gawwwd intended.
And yes, the online art and creation space has been literally a lifeline for many queer artists
So yeah. September will be an unparalleled shitshow
Etsy for example is probably going to implode
A lot of the dropshippers will be toast, as well as a lot of the legit boutique artists doing things like custom leatherwork or jewellery or scent making
At least one indie perfume house has dropped America and at least one Murican indie perfumer has done the math and closed up shop completely
Basically a loooot of the tiny indie shops are fucked. And many, many of them are run and patronised by women and the queer community
Custom enamel pins are fucked too because apparently *nobody* makes them in house in the US, they all get ordered from China because it's too fiddly for blacksmiths and too cost prohibitive for jewellers
So anyone who wants to make enamel pins will need to have them either small batch custom made by artisans (ouch, pricey) or imported with tariffs from China (ouch, pricey)
A lot of Kickstarters are about to get terafucked too, especially the more niche ones
Tldr this is gonna be a disastuh
And I don’t prompt her, because she lacks an off switch …
So all the people who sat out voting for Harris because "she's too corporate" while plugging their Palestine merch on their Etsy shop are about to have a really, really, reallllllly bad day.
And then you have bullet journalling which is basically making a DIY planner
Then you have scrapbooking which is "stick photos and random shit on other shit" lol
It'll be a bloodbath for small businesses, the handmade scene, and made-to-order creators
Redbubble miiiiiiiight, miiiiiiiight make it but the prices are about to skyrocket
Small businesses all over about to be really, really, astronomically fucked by this move, while Bezos laughs all the way to the bank
Walmart, Target, Apple, all the massive megacorps, will be fine. Anyone else... may the odds be ever in your favour.
But hey, Black lady laughed funny and muh Gaza.
No, really, there’s no off switch.
Oh and only about 40% of the drugs used in the US are domestically made, and out of those 40% only 10% of the *ingredients* for those drugs are domestically made
Australia Post has also sent notices saying they're not doing the US any more
But Japan... Japan is going to *really hurt*
And if Xinnie the Pooh decides to drop the hammer... *batten down the hatches, thar be a shitstorm abrewin'*.
But hey, guess you can treat MawMaw's sugars with Russian oil and diamonds.
Isolationism only works if there is absolutely, literally nothing you rely on the outside world for and many, many, mannnnny things you're willing to give up
It's choosing the cloistered life on a huge scale
And even cloistered nuns and monks sold wine or cloth or cheese or whatever to *get money to pay tradesmen to do shit they couldn't do themselves*
This is a massive tantrum by a spoiled manbaby who has never had to learn how the world works, and it'll fuck up everyone's shit for years if not decades
And the people who thought the price of eggs was a problem... whooooo boy wait until the American shelves start to look like 80s Soviet Union
*Khrushchev laughing hysterically in the afterlife*
The really grim point in all this is the medication.
If that pipeline is interrupted some people are going to die.
Many, many more are going to be utterly miserable.
And they won’t lose focus; one’s body is a constant.
Congress will get lit up and they will be kept there.
When supply chains break like this, providers go out of business.
Restoration will take a lot longer than making a mess did.
I’ve been rationing. I’ve been hoarding. I think I can go a whole month without prescription refills. I’ve got some of my supplements covered, the ones I really need. I will just have to go to one meal a day and stay there, eating without preparing first is a bad idea. I’m down twenty one pounds since my surgery and I only need to lose another seven to get into that happy 23 - 25 body mass index range. If that becomes another seventeen, OK, fine … but much more than that? Not good.
So this is it, are we great again. yet?